The Caregiver Burden Spot

Tag: caregiving tips

  • 7 Easy Steps to Giving Better Hugs as a Caregiver

    senior people hug outdoors
    Designed by Freepik.

    I think some people just give great hugs. You know the kind: the ones that make you feel safe enough to cry when you need to. Those kinds of hugs don’t just comfort us. They help us feel seen and supported.

    I’ve also met people who didn’t like hugs much at first. But over time, even they became more open to hugs and being close. That shows that hugs can be powerful, even healing.

    As caregivers, giving a warm, safe hug can be a simple but powerful way to show someone you care. Here’s how to give hugs that really matter.

    Why Hugs Matter

    A good hug can lower stress, reduce anxiety and even help with feelings of sadness. Research shows that hugs lasting 20 seconds or more can trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “bonding chemical.” This helps people feel calm, cared for and connected. That’s something we all need, especially during tough times.

    A study in Psychological Science found that people who received more hugs were less likely to get sick from stress-related illnesses.

    Step 1: Ask first.

    Before hugging someone, check their body language. Do they seem open to it? Are their arms reaching out? If you’re unsure, just ask them:

    “Would you like a hug?”

    This might feel a little awkward at first, but it shows respect and makes the other person feel safe. Some people — especially those who’ve experienced trauma — may not want to be touched. And that’s totally okay.

    Step 2: Be genuine.

    A hug only works if it feels real. Don’t rush in or do it just because you feel like you should. Make eye contact. Smile. Be calm. Let your body language show that you truly care.

    Step 3: Hug in a comfortable way.

    Hugs don’t need to be perfect, but comfort matters. A good method is the “diagonal hug”:

    • One arm goes over their shoulder.
    • The other arm goes under their opposite arm.
    Boys hug diagonally
    Designed by Freepik.

    This feels more natural and gives a feeling of balance and safety. If the person is shorter, taller, or has mobility issues, adjust to what works best for them.

    Step 4: Use the right pressure.

    Hug too tight and it can feel overwhelming. Hug too loosely and it may seem like you don’t care. Try to give a soft but steady squeeze — just enough to say, “I’m here with you.”

    Step 5: Be present in the moment.

    When you’re hugging someone, really be there. Don’t check your phone, look around or pat their back too much. Take a deep breath and let the hug speak for itself. This moment of connection is more powerful when you’re focused and calm.

    Step 6: Keep it going, but not too long.

    About 20 seconds is the sweet spot. That’s how long it takes for oxytocin to kick in. But always pay attention to the other person’s comfort. If they start to pull away, don’t force the hug to go longer.

    Step 7: End the hug with kindness.

    Let go slowly. Give a warm smile. Maybe say a kind word like, “You’ve got this,” or “I’m here for you.”

    Little actions like these can help the other person feel even more supported.

    Final Thoughts on Better Caregiver Hugs

    On the surface, hugs might seem like a small thing. But for caregivers, they can be one of the most loving tools you have. They don’t take much time, but the impact can be huge for both you and the person you’re caring for.

    It’s true: not all hugs are created equal. A meaningful embrace combines awareness, technique and empathy.

    These seven steps can help you master the art of the caregiver hug. Just keep making each one safe, sincere and soothing.

    This is a quick reference of the types of hugs and desired results.
    Quick reference for hug and touch types and related results.
    Download infographic

  • A Guide for New Family Caregivers: Handling the Unexpected

    Stressed young woman

    Sudden-Onset Caregiving: Maria’s Story

    Maria was a 35-year-old marketing professional when she got a phone call that changed her life. Her mother, who had always been independent, had fallen and broken her hip. Maria suddenly realized that her mother would need help — not just for recovery, but possibly long-term.

    At first, Maria felt overwhelmed. She worried about balancing her job with caring for her mother. Suddenly, her life was filled with medical appointments, therapy sessions, and difficult decisions. She had to rethink her daily routine, and even considered cutting her work hours.

    Maria’s social life changed, too. She felt she had to sacrifice her nights out with her friends to care for her mother’s needs. She felt guilty whenever she took time for herself, wondering if she was doing enough. Like many caregivers, she struggled with stress and doubt.

    Maria’s story is like what many new caregivers experience. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Adjusting to a new caregiving role brings challenges — both practical and emotional.

    The Emotional Challenges of Caregiving

    Caring for a loved one can bring a mix of emotions.

    • Anxiety: Worrying about making the right decisions or handling responsibilities can be stressful.
    • Guilt: Many caregivers feel they’re not doing enough or feel bad for taking time for themselves.
    • Frustration: Managing care and dealing with healthcare systems can be overwhelming.
    • Loneliness: Caregiving can reduce social interactions and make caregivers feel isolated.

    Caregivers need to recognize these feelings and look for support. Talking to others, joining a caregiver group or speaking with a professional can help you manage stress and emotions.

    3 Tips for Reducing Caregiving Stress

    Caring for a family member can be challenging, but these strategies can help make the experience easier:

    1. Create a daily routine.

    When you have a set schedule, caregiving tasks often feel more manageable. A routine helps caregivers stay organized and plan time for responsibilities as well as self-care.

    2. Take care of yourself.

    Caregivers often put their own needs last, but self-care is important. Taking breaks, exercising, or doing something enjoyable can help recharge energy and reduce stress. Mindfulness or relaxation techniques can also improve well-being.

    3. Ask for help when you need it.

    Caregiving isn’t something you have to do alone. Reach out to friends, family or professionals for support. Joining caregiver support groups, whether in person or online, can provide guidance and encouragement. With these steps, caregivers can maintain their health while providing the best care for their loved ones.

    Finding Support: Resources for Caregivers

    Caregivers don’t have to handle everything alone. Many resources can provide support, including:

    • Local Caregiver Support Groups: Meet others who understand your challenges and share helpful advice.
    • Online Communities: Websites and forums allow caregivers to connect, exchange tips, and find emotional support anytime.
    • Training Programs: Some organizations offer workshops on caregiving skills, medical care and stress management.
    • Respite Care Services: Some nonprofit groups provide temporary caregiving help so you can take a break.
    • Financial Assistance Programs: Some groups offer grants or financial aid to help with caregiving costs.

    Using these resources can make sudden-onset caregiving easier and help caregivers feel supported. You don’t have to do it alone — help is available.