I think some people just give great hugs. You know the kind: the ones that make you feel safe enough to cry when you need to. Those kinds of hugs don’t just comfort us. They help us feel seen and supported.
I’ve also met people who didn’t like hugs much at first. But over time, even they became more open to hugs and being close. That shows that hugs can be powerful, even healing.
As caregivers, giving a warm, safe hug can be a simple but powerful way to show someone you care. Here’s how to give hugs that really matter.
Why Hugs Matter
A good hug can lower stress, reduce anxiety and even help with feelings of sadness. Research shows that hugs lasting 20 seconds or more can trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “bonding chemical.” This helps people feel calm, cared for and connected. That’s something we all need, especially during tough times.
A study in Psychological Science found that people who received more hugs were less likely to get sick from stress-related illnesses.
Step 1: Ask first.
Before hugging someone, check their body language. Do they seem open to it? Are their arms reaching out? If you’re unsure, just ask them:
“Would you like a hug?”
This might feel a little awkward at first, but it shows respect and makes the other person feel safe. Some people — especially those who’ve experienced trauma — may not want to be touched. And that’s totally okay.
Step 2: Be genuine.
A hug only works if it feels real. Don’t rush in or do it just because you feel like you should. Make eye contact. Smile. Be calm. Let your body language show that you truly care.
Step 3: Hug in a comfortable way.
Hugs don’t need to be perfect, but comfort matters. A good method is the “diagonal hug”:
This feels more natural and gives a feeling of balance and safety. If the person is shorter, taller, or has mobility issues, adjust to what works best for them.
Step 4: Use the right pressure.
Hug too tight and it can feel overwhelming. Hug too loosely and it may seem like you don’t care. Try to give a soft but steady squeeze — just enough to say, “I’m here with you.”
Step 5: Be present in the moment.
When you’re hugging someone, really be there. Don’t check your phone, look around or pat their back too much. Take a deep breath and let the hug speak for itself. This moment of connection is more powerful when you’re focused and calm.
Step 6: Keep it going, but not too long.
About 20 seconds is the sweet spot. That’s how long it takes for oxytocin to kick in. But always pay attention to the other person’s comfort. If they start to pull away, don’t force the hug to go longer.
Step 7: End the hug with kindness.
Let go slowly. Give a warm smile. Maybe say a kind word like, “You’ve got this,” or “I’m here for you.”
Little actions like these can help the other person feel even more supported.
Final Thoughts on Better Caregiver Hugs
On the surface, hugs might seem like a small thing. But for caregivers, they can be one of the most loving tools you have. They don’t take much time, but the impact can be huge for both you and the person you’re caring for.
It’s true: not all hugs are created equal. A meaningful embrace combines awareness, technique and empathy.
These seven steps can help you master the art of the caregiver hug. Just keep making each one safe, sincere and soothing.
Quick reference for hug and touch types and related results.
In 2012, I faced a stressful caregiving challenge with one of my aging siblings. He was legally blind, financially challenged and he lived alone. I knew he had to qualify for some benefits programs, but I was overwhelmed with the question of where to start in getting him some help.
A short time later, I received a random email about a government website that would help me up my caregiving game. Here’s the 411.
Finding Benefits Programs for Aging Loved Ones
Caring for an aging loved one or someone with a disability can be overwhelming. Many families don’t realize there are helpful senior benefits and programs available that can ease financial stress. These programs can help cover costs like food, medicine, housing, health care and utilities.
One of the best tools for finding these resources is BenefitsCheckUp. It’s a free service created by the National Council on Aging, or NCOA. This easy-to-use tool helps connect older adults with benefit programs in their area.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how to use BenefitsCheckUp to find support for your loved one. Whether you’re looking for food assistance or help paying for prescriptions, this guide can help you get started, because managing caregiver stress is important.
Getting Started with Benefits Programs Research
What BenefitsCheckUp Does
BenefitsCheckUp was designed to help people over 60 and those with disabilities find the help they may qualify for. Millions of older adults miss out on support simply because they don’t know what’s available. This tool connects users with over 2,500 public and private benefits programs across the country.
Some examples of benefits it can help you identify include:
Food assistance through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP
Help paying for prescription medications
Health care savings through Medicare programs
Utility bill assistance
Support with housing or rent
These programs are often based on income, household size, or medical need. BenefitsCheckUp helps you figure out which ones your loved one may be eligible for — without having to search each one individually.
How the Screening Process Works
Start by going to benefitscheckup.org and entering your ZIP code. This allows the tool to show only the programs available in your loved one’s area. You can then answer a few questions about their age, income, medical expenses and other basic information.
After answering the questions, you’ll receive a free, personalized report. This report outlines the benefit programs they may qualify for and what steps to take next. You can even email the report to yourself or download it as a PDF to share with family members or caregivers.
Visit BenefitsCheckUp and start the screening today. It takes just a few minutes and could help your loved one save money and get the help they need.
Navigating the Application Process
Reviewing and Using Eligibility Results
Once you complete the screening on BenefitsCheckUp, you’ll get a personalized results report. This report shows which benefits programs your loved one may qualify for and how to apply. It includes:
Names of programs and a short description of each
Eligibility status—whether your loved one likely qualifies
Links to apply online or download application forms
Contact information for the agency offering the benefit
The tool gives you choices. You can apply online directly through an agency’s website, call them for more information, or print forms to send by mail. You can also save the report to your device or print it out for later use.
This step helps you move from research to action—so your loved one can start getting the help they need.
BenefitsCheckUp connects you to a wide range of senior benefits. Here are some of the most common programs available:
SNAP — Helps pay for groceries
Medicare Savings Programs — Lowers Medicare premiums and out-of-pocket costs
Prescription Assistance — Offers discounts, rebates and coupons for medications
Utility Bill Support — Helps with home heating and cooling costs
Housing and Rental Aid — Assists with rent or finding affordable housing options
You can explore different categories based on your loved one’s needs. The tool organizes options into easy sections like “Food & Nutrition,” “Health Care,” “Housing,” and “Income Assistance.”
Go back to your report and check which programs matter most to your loved one. Choose one or two and follow the steps to apply right away.
Practical Tips and Support
Is BenefitsCheckUp legit?
Still sounds too good to be true, huh?
If this is your first time using BenefitsCheckUp, you probably have questions. Here are a few of the most common ones.
Is BenefitsCheckUp free? Yes, it’s 100% free to use. There are no hidden costs or fees.
Is my information safe? Yes. The site is private and confidential. Your answers are not shared without your permission.
Can I apply directly on the website? For most programs, no. But the site gives you direct links to the official applications or tells you how to apply.
Can I use the tool for someone else? Yes! You can answer the questions for your parent, grandparent or other loved one. Just be sure the answers apply to their specific situation.
BenefitsCheckUp makes the process simple and stress-free. You don’t need to be an expert in benefits programs — just follow the steps and the tool does the hard work.
Still think you need more help? BenefitsCheckUp offers several ways to get personal support if you’re unsure about the next steps:
Live Chat — Use the “Chat With Us” button to talk to a support person online.
Phone Support — Call the hotline at 1-800-794-6559 (Monday–Friday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET).
In-Person Help — Visit a local Benefits Enrollment Center to speak with someone face-to-face.
These options are great if you’re helping a loved one who isn’t tech-savvy or if you need guidance through the application process. You can also ask about special cases, like support for disabled individuals or grandparents raising grandchildren.
If you’re stuck or unsure about the results, don’t hesitate. Use the chat or call the hotline to get friendly, expert help.
Take the first step in researching benefits programs.
Supporting a loved one through aging or health challenges is hard, but finding financial help shouldn’t be. Thanks to BenefitsCheckUp, researching senior benefits has never been easier. Within a few minutes, you can find out what help is available and how to get it for yourself or your loved one.
I did.
Whether you’re looking for food assistance, prescription savings or help with housing, this tool brings valuable benefits programs to your fingertips. Take the first step today and empower your loved one to live with dignity, security and peace of mind.
What types of senior benefits can I find using BenefitsCheckUp?
BenefitsCheckUp helps you find many kinds of support, including food assistance, help with medical bills, prescription savings, utility bill support and housing programs. It’s designed to match older adults with the benefits programs they may qualify for based on where they live.
Can I use BenefitsCheckUp for someone else, like my parent or grandparent?
Yes, you can! If you’re helping a loved one, just answer the questions based on their personal information. This is a great way to support someone who may not be comfortable using the internet.
Do I need to give my Social Security number or personal documents?
No, BenefitsCheckUp does not ask for your Social Security number. The tool keeps your information private and does not require documents to do a benefits screening. However, the agency you apply to may ask for this later during the application process.
Is BenefitsCheckUp only for people over 65?
BenefitsCheckUp is mainly for adults age 60 and older, but some benefits programs listed do not have age limits. People with disabilities and certain low-income households may also qualify for support through the site.
What if my loved one doesn’t use a computer — how can they get help?
No problem. You can call the BenefitsCheckUp support line at 1-800-794-6559 to speak with someone directly. You can also visit a local Benefits Enrollment Center to get help in person.
That doesn’t mean you view the loved ones you care for as a burden. Far from it, your love for them is likely the primary motivator for your willingness to care for them. The person you care for isn’t the “burden.” Rather, it’s the situation and your limitations in coping with it that’s the concern.
Caregiving is often a rewarding experience. However, it comes with significant challenges that can increase the strain on family caregivers. Many people who take on the caregiver role experience emotional, physical, and financial pressures. Those things can have a powerful impact on their well-being. Research indicates that nearly 60% of caregivers experience high levels of stress. We can attribute this to the demands of providing ongoing support for a loved one. This statistic underscores the toll caregiving responsibilities can take on their health.
Emotional pressures may cause feelings of guilt, anxiety or frustration. That’s particularly true when caregivers feel they aren’t meeting the needs of the person they’re caring for. Many caregivers also feel isolated. That can intensify stress levels. A survey conducted by the Family Caregiver Alliance found that 40% of caregivers report feeling depressed. This further illustrates the psychological impact of caregiving. This emotional strain can hinder effective caregiving and create a cycle of stress and self-doubt.
Caregivers often neglect their own health while attending to their loved ones. This may lead to caregiver fatigue or burnout. Studies show that approximately 33% of caregivers rate their health as fair or poor. That stands in stark contrast to the general population. These physical challenges highlight the need for caregivers to seek support and resources to help them maintain their own health. Financial pressures also play a significant role. Many caregivers incur expenses related to medical treatments, caregiving supplies and lost wages due to reduced working hours.
The cumulative effect of these stressors emphasizes the need for caregivers to prioritize their health. By acknowledging their challenges, caregivers can take steps toward their well-being. This promotes both personal and emotional resilience. Developing coping mechanisms and seeking support networks can transform their caregiving journey. It’s true: You can be a caregiver while also caring for yourself.
Practical Solutions for Stress Relief
A variety of products, services and strategies are available to help you manage your family caregiving challenges. These practical solutions not only ease the daily burdens but also promote caregiver well-being.
One of the most effective strategies to consider is adopting self-care practices. Caregivers need to prioritize their own physical and mental health by integrating small self-care activities into their routines. Activities like mindfulness and regular physical exercise can significantly reduce stress levels and enhance emotional resilience. Furthermore, setting aside dedicated time for hobbies or relaxing pursuits allows caregivers to recharge and maintain their overall well-being.
A great place to start your self-care could be a simple hug.
Technology also plays a crucial role in alleviating caregiver strain. Apps designed to help with scheduling, medication management, and communication can streamline daily tasks. For example, you can track medications and drug interactions with a tool like Medisafe. Another app that allows comprehensive tracking of meds, moods, symptoms and more is MyTherapy. Apps like these can help caregivers feel more organized and in control. Smart home devices, such as voice-activated assistants and security cameras, can offer peace of mind that enhances both caregiving and safety.
Community resources are another essential component of stress relief. Local organizations often provide support groups, educational workshops and access to mental health counseling. Engaging with peers who understand the unique challenges of caregiving can foster a sense of connection and shared experience. That engagement is vital for emotional support. Also, respite care services can provide crucial relief by temporarily assuming caregiving responsibilities, allowing caregivers to rest and recuperate.
With these various tools and strategies, caregivers can find practical solutions to relieve stress. By integrating self-care practices, utilizing technology, and leveraging community resources, caregivers can significantly improve their well-being and ensure a more manageable caregiving experience.
Caregiver stress is a term that encapsulates the emotional, physical, and mental challenges faced by individuals who provide care to family members or loved ones. This stress can manifest due to a variety of factors, including the demanding nature of caregiving, physical exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy. It’s crucial to acknowledge that family caregivers often grapple with complex emotions, which can lead to significant stress levels over time.
One of the primary causes of caregiver stress is the overwhelming responsibility of providing for another person’s needs, often without sufficient support. Family caregivers frequently encounter emotional burdens such as guilt, anxiety, and loneliness. The inability to balance caregiving duties with personal life or professional obligations can exacerbate these feelings, adding to the psychological strain. Additionally, financial pressures associated with caregiving — such as medical costs, lost income, and the potential need for care-related modifications in the home further intensify this stress.
The symptoms of caregiver stress can be varied and include fatigue, irritability, depression, and difficulty sleeping. Such symptoms affect not only the caregiver’s health but also the quality of care provided to the individual requiring assistance. The continuous cycle of stress and its associated health ramifications can lead to what is known as caregiver burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that diminishes one’s capacity to provide care effectively.
Given these factors, caregivers need to prioritize their well-being. Acknowledging the unique challenges faced is paramount. Seeking help, whether from friends, family, or professional resources, can alleviate feelings of isolation and reduce stress levels. Confronting the stigma surrounding caregiver fatigue is vital, as it encourages caregivers to seek necessary support, thereby improving their overall health and the care they provide to their loved ones.
Strategies and Resources for Easing Caregiver Burden
Family caregivers often face significant stress due to their responsibilities, making it essential to implement effective strategies and utilize available resources. Prioritizing time management can be immensely helpful. Caregivers should consider creating a weekly schedule that outlines tasks, ensuring that they allocate time for both caregiving duties and personal activities. This structured approach can help in maintaining a balance between caregiving and personal wellbeing.
Self-care techniques are vital for managing stress. Engaging in regular exercise, such as walking or yoga, can improve physical health and reduce anxiety. Caregivers should also practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, which can enhance emotional resilience. Setting aside time for hobbies or socializing with friends can provide emotional support, further alleviating stress levels.
Community support resources play a crucial role in mitigating caregiver burden. Local support groups offer an opportunity for caregivers to connect with others who share similar experiences. These gatherings can provide emotional support as well as practical advice for navigating the challenges of caregiving. Online forums and social networks specifically designed for caregivers can also offer valuable resources and tips, making it easier to share experiences and find support.
In addition to these strategies, specific products designed for caregivers can be beneficial. Respite care services allow caregivers to take breaks while ensuring that their loved ones receive quality care. Caregiving apps can streamline daily tasks, from medication management to scheduling appointments, greatly reducing stress. Stress management tools such as journals or guided relaxation aids can further support caregivers in their journey, fostering a healthier and more sustainable caregiving experience.
Caring for a loved one can feel like a juggling act. It’s no wonder that many caregivers struggle with stress and exhaustion. Thankfully, some tools and resources can make caregiving easier and help caregivers maintain a better balance in their daily lives.
Useful Products for Caregivers
Some devices can make caregiving tasks safer and less stressful. For example:
Medication organizers and scheduling apps help keep track of medications and appointments, preventing mistakes and easing stress.
How Technology Makes Caregiving Easier
Technology can help caregivers stay organized and connected:
Communication apps make it easy for family members to coordinate care.
Video calls help keep everyone informed, even from a distance.
Online caregiver communities provide a space to share experiences, get advice, and find support from others in similar situations.
Community Support for Caregivers
Local organizations offer services that give caregivers a break and provide helpful resources, such as:
Respite care so caregivers can take time for themselves while ensuring their loved one is cared for.
Support groups and workshops that teach coping strategies and provide emotional support.
These tools and resources can help caregivers feel less stressed and more in control. In other words, caregiving becomes easier when you also care for yourself.
Smart Ways to Handle Caregiving Challenges
Caring for a loved one can be stressful and exhausting, but there are ways to make it easier. Using simple strategies can help caregivers stay balanced and avoid burnout.
Stay present with mindfulness.
Worrying about the future or regretting the past can add to stress. Mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment to reduce anxiety. This can be as simple as taking deep breaths, listening to calming music, or using guided relaxation for a few minutes daily.
Manage your time wisely.
Caregivers often have a lot to do, so planning can make things easier. Creating a daily schedule helps balance caregiving duties, household chores and personal time. Setting aside specific times for tasks and breaks can help you feel more in control.
Set clear boundaries.
It’s important to know your limits. Saying no to extra responsibilities and asking for help when needed can help prevent caregiver burnout. Talking openly with family and friends about what you can and can’t handle ensures that others will respect your needs.
Make time for self-care.
Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for a loved one. Simple activities like exercising, reading, or spending time with friends can help you recharge. Talking to a therapist or joining a support group can provide guidance and encouragement too.
By using these strategies, you can reduce stress and find balance. You’ll take better care of yourself while supporting your loved ones.