I think some people just give great hugs. You know the kind: the ones that make you feel safe enough to cry when you need to. Those kinds of hugs don’t just comfort us. They help us feel seen and supported.
I’ve also met people who didn’t like hugs much at first. But over time, even they became more open to hugs and being close. That shows that hugs can be powerful, even healing.
As caregivers, giving a warm, safe hug can be a simple but powerful way to show someone you care. Here’s how to give hugs that really matter.
Why Hugs Matter
A good hug can lower stress, reduce anxiety and even help with feelings of sadness. Research shows that hugs lasting 20 seconds or more can trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “bonding chemical.” This helps people feel calm, cared for and connected. That’s something we all need, especially during tough times.
A study in Psychological Science found that people who received more hugs were less likely to get sick from stress-related illnesses.
Step 1: Ask first.
Before hugging someone, check their body language. Do they seem open to it? Are their arms reaching out? If you’re unsure, just ask them:
“Would you like a hug?”
This might feel a little awkward at first, but it shows respect and makes the other person feel safe. Some people — especially those who’ve experienced trauma — may not want to be touched. And that’s totally okay.
Step 2: Be genuine.
A hug only works if it feels real. Don’t rush in or do it just because you feel like you should. Make eye contact. Smile. Be calm. Let your body language show that you truly care.
Step 3: Hug in a comfortable way.
Hugs don’t need to be perfect, but comfort matters. A good method is the “diagonal hug”:
This feels more natural and gives a feeling of balance and safety. If the person is shorter, taller, or has mobility issues, adjust to what works best for them.
Step 4: Use the right pressure.
Hug too tight and it can feel overwhelming. Hug too loosely and it may seem like you don’t care. Try to give a soft but steady squeeze — just enough to say, “I’m here with you.”
Step 5: Be present in the moment.
When you’re hugging someone, really be there. Don’t check your phone, look around or pat their back too much. Take a deep breath and let the hug speak for itself. This moment of connection is more powerful when you’re focused and calm.
Step 6: Keep it going, but not too long.
About 20 seconds is the sweet spot. That’s how long it takes for oxytocin to kick in. But always pay attention to the other person’s comfort. If they start to pull away, don’t force the hug to go longer.
Step 7: End the hug with kindness.
Let go slowly. Give a warm smile. Maybe say a kind word like, “You’ve got this,” or “I’m here for you.”
Little actions like these can help the other person feel even more supported.
Final Thoughts on Better Caregiver Hugs
On the surface, hugs might seem like a small thing. But for caregivers, they can be one of the most loving tools you have. They don’t take much time, but the impact can be huge for both you and the person you’re caring for.
It’s true: not all hugs are created equal. A meaningful embrace combines awareness, technique and empathy.
These seven steps can help you master the art of the caregiver hug. Just keep making each one safe, sincere and soothing.
Quick reference for hug and touch types and related results.
I come from a long line of huggers. It’s a family thing.
There’s just something about a warm embrace or a simple touch that’s often hard for me to explain or quantify. When I was a child, my parents taught me about the Biblical story of Jesus and the leper who wanted to be healed. Jewish law at the time required that the sick man call out that he was “unclean,” or contagious, and that people should avoid him.
According to the Gospel account, Jesus not only healed him, but he also defied the man’s expectations by touching him. I can only imagine that man’s experience: That touch may have been the first touch from another human that he’d had in a very long time!
Maybe there’s a lesson we can infer from that?
The Family Caregiver’s Hug: Maria’s Story
Maria had been caring for her aging mother for over a year. While she loved her mother deeply, the stress often left her feeling worn out and disconnected. One morning, after a sleepless night, Maria leaned in and gave her mother a long hug. To her surprise, her mother smiled and said, “I needed that.”
That moment changed everything.
Maria started giving her mom a gentle hug each morning and before bed. Over time, she noticed a shift not only in her mother’s mood, but in her own. She felt calmer, more connected, and less alone. Hugging became their quiet way of saying, “We’re in this together.” That’s when Maria realized: sometimes, healing doesn’t come from a pill or a plan. It comes from a simple embrace.
Family caregiving is full of love, but it can also be overwhelming. What if something as simple as a hug could help? Hugging is more than a friendly gesture. It’s a powerful tool for healing.
In caregiving, hugging can support both the caregiver and the person receiving care. In this post, we’ll explore how hug therapy can help reduce caregiver stress and boost emotional well-being.
Why Hugging Matters in Family Caregiving
The Science Behind a Simple Hug
When you hug someone, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone is known as the “love hormone.” It helps you feel close and connected. At the same time, hugging lowers levels of cortisol. That’s the hormone linked to stress. This combination helps the body relax. In fact, just a 20-second hug can lower your heart rate and blood pressure.
Emotional Connection Through Touch
Caregiving isn’t only about giving medication or helping with meals. It’s also about emotional support. A hug can say, “I see you,” or “You’re not alone.” This kind of physical touch helps the caregiver and the loved one feel supported. In tough moments, it can be a quick way to bring calm and connection.
Healing for Both Sides
Hugging works both ways. When a caregiver hugs a loved one, both people benefit. The caregiver may feel more grounded, less anxious, and more appreciated. The person receiving care often feels safer and more loved. This shared experience helps build trust and makes daily caregiving tasks feel less heavy.
How Hug Therapy Helps in Reducing Caregiver Stress
Quick Stress Relief You Can Feel
Caregivers often carry stress in their bodies. Tight shoulders, headaches and fatigue are common. Hug therapy gives the body a chance to reset. Oxytocin not only makes people feel good, it also helps relax muscles and calm the nervous system. In moments of burnout, a single hug can ease both mind and body.
Long hours of caregiving can take a toll on mental health. Hug therapy increases the release of “feel-good” chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. These help lift mood and reduce feelings of sadness or frustration. Caregivers who make hugging part of daily care often feel more hopeful and emotionally strong.
Boosts Physical Health for Caregivers
Ongoing stress can hurt the immune system. Hugging, on the other hand, may help it. Studies show that people who get more hugs are less likely to get sick. For caregivers, who often skip self-care, a simple hug is one way to protect both their emotional and physical health.
Hugging as a Communication Tool in Caregiving
When Words Fall Short, Hugging Speaks
There are times when talking just isn’t enough. Maybe your loved one has dementia or is non-verbal. A hug can bridge that gap. It tells them you care, without saying a word. It brings warmth, comfort and reassurance when language isn’t possible.
Strengthens Trust and Bonding
Caregiving can sometimes create emotional distance, especially when the caregiver feels stressed. Hugging helps restore closeness. Regular hugs build trust. They remind both people that their relationship is more than the tasks. They’re still connected as family or loved ones.
Encourages Openness and Safety
A hug can make it easier for someone to talk about their fears or needs. It creates a safe space where emotions can be shared. For caregivers, this means better communication and fewer misunderstandings. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to cooperate with care routines.
Simple Ways to Add More Hugs to Your Caregiving Routine
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Set a “Hug Goal” for the Day
Experts suggest setting a goal for how many hugs you give each day. Start small. Maybe four hugs a day. From there, work your way up to eight or even twelve hugs a day. These regular moments of contact can make a big difference in your stress levels. Write it on a sticky note or set a reminder on your phone to help make it a habit.
Use Hugs to Start and End the Day
Begin and finish your caregiving routine with a hug. Morning hugs help start the day with warmth and support. Evening hugs bring comfort and a sense of calm before rest. These daily touchpoints can improve your mood and create emotional stability for both of you.
Respect, Comfort and Consent
Always ask before giving a hug. Some people may not feel comfortable with close touch. That’s okay. A gentle hand on the shoulder or holding hands can offer similar comfort. The goal is connection, not pressure. When both people feel safe, the hug becomes more powerful.
The Bottom Line: Small Hugs, Big Healing
Caregiving is a journey filled with love, but also stress and hard work. Hug therapy is a simple, powerful way to ease that stress. Hugs bring emotional relief, boost health and deepen your bond with the person you care for. Whether it’s one hug or twelve, each one helps.
If you’re a family caregiver, start adding hugs into your day. Notice the change in how you feel and how your loved one responds. Sometimes, the smallest actions carry the greatest healing power.
Take Action: Try giving at least four hugs today. See how it feels. Share this idea with others in your caregiving circle. Together, you can turn simple hugs into a powerful wellness habit.
Caregiver Hugging FAQ
What is hug therapy in caregiving?
It’s the use of warm, caring hugs to improve emotional and physical well-being. In caregiving, it helps reduce stress, build trust and offer comfort to both the caregiver and the person receiving care.
How many hugs should a caregiver aim for each day?
Experts suggest starting with four hugs per day. Eight hugs support emotional balance, and twelve hugs can help with deeper connection and happiness.
Can hugging improve my mood as a caregiver?
Yes. Hugs release hormones like oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals help reduce anxiety and improve your mood, making you feel more positive and calm.
What if my loved one doesn’t like to be hugged?
Always respect others’ personal space. Some people prefer a gentle hand on the back, holding hands or just sitting close. What matters most is the feeling of connection and care.
Can hugging really make a difference in long-term caregiving?
Yes. When done regularly, hugging can help lower stress, improve health and strengthen relationships. It’s a small act with big impact over time.
Monique never imagined she would become her mother’s full-time caregiver. At first, it was just small favors — things like helping her mom shop for groceries or driving her to doctor’s appointments. Within a couple of years, Monique was managing medications, preparing meals and assisting her mom with daily tasks. The exhaustion crept in slowly, until one day, she realized she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in months. The stress, loneliness, and financial strain weighed on her more than she ever expected.
Caregiver burden refers to the emotional, physical, financial, and social strain experienced by those providing care for loved ones. Whether caring for an aging parent, a disabled spouse, or a chronically ill family member, caregiving is often an unpaid and unplanned responsibility that millions take on out of love or necessity.
While caregiving can be fulfilling, it also brings challenges. It can lead to burnout, stress and financial hardship. Recognizing and addressing caregiver burden is essential for both the caregiver’s well-being and the quality of care they provide.
If you’ve found your way to this page, you likely can relate.
In a way, family caregiving can be like weightlifting. For safety’s sake, a wise weightlifter will sometimes have a “spotter” standing by — someone who’s ready to help if the weight gets to be too much to handle.
This blog is a shoutout to any family caregiver who may feel the need for an emotional “spotter” when their caregiver burden seems to be too much.
Caregiving often has a negative impact on employment and forces many to reduce work hours or leave jobs. On average, caregivers spend $7,242 annually on out-of-pocket expenses, and unpaid caregiving in the U.S. is valued at $600 billion per year.
Takeaway: Caregiving affects every aspect of life, making stress management crucial.
Source: Statista
Recognizing the Signs of Caregiver Burnout
Burnout occurs when stress becomes overwhelming and leads to exhaustion. Common signs include:
Constant fatigue
Difficulty sleeping
Loss of joy or patience
Feelings of hopelessness or isolation
Increased reliance on caffeine, alcohol or medication
Takeaway: Identifying early warning signs can help prevent full-blown burnout.
How to Manage and Reduce Caregiver Burden
Let’s be honest: You will often face challenges as a caregiver. And sometimes you may even feel like giving up. But with a little thought, homework and some planning, you can cope.
Seek support.
Join a caregiver support group — online or in person.
Research tax credits for caregivers. For example, learn more about the Credit for Caring Act.
Look into grants and assistance programs.
Takeaway: Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s essential for sustainable caregiving.
Looking Ahead: Changing the Narrative on Caregiving
Society often expects family caregivers to manage without support. However, policy changes and increased awareness can improve access to financial aid and healthcare support. Caregivers should advocate for better resources and services.
You’re not alone. Seeking help is a sign of strength.
Caregivers Matter Too
Managing caregiver burden is essential for your health and well-being. Try taking one small step today. Call a friend, research financial aid or schedule a self-care activity. It can make a big difference.
Remember:As a family caregiver, you’re doing an incredible job. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.
My two brothers and I have each had unique experiences with caregiving. We know firsthand its joys as well as the toll it can take. The caregiver burden is real. And we’re here to spot you.
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Know a caregiver who could use a spot today? Share this post.
Family caregivers are everyday heroes. They step up to help loved ones through illness, aging or disability. While this role is full of love and care, it also comes with real challenges that can affect health, happiness, and finances.
This article is here to help.
Whether you’re just starting your journey or have been caregiving for years, we’ll share practical ways to reduce stress and feel more supported.
What Makes Caregiving Stressful
Emotional Challenges
Caregiving can be an emotional rollercoaster. Many caregivers feel:
Overwhelmed by daily tasks and long to-do lists.
Guilty for not doing “enough” or needing time off.
Lonely because they spend less time with friends or hobbies.
These feelings are normal, but if you ignore them, they can lead to anxiety or depression.
Physical Strain
Looking after someone else often means putting your own needs last. That can lead to:
Chronic tiredness from interrupted sleep or long days.
Lack of self-care like missing meals or skipping doctor visits.
Injuries from lifting or helping someone move.
Taking care of your own body is just as important as caring for someone else.
Money Worries
Many caregivers face financial stress, especially when they have to cut back on work or spend money on care needs. Common challenges include:
Lost income from reduced hours or leaving a job.
Out-of-pocket costs for medications, supplies, or travel.
Make time for rest, fun and people who lift you up.
You deserve care, too. When you feel good, you can care better.
Being a family caregiver is one of the most loving things you can do — but it’s also one of the toughest. You are not alone in feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. By using helpful tools, leaning on support, and practicing self-care, you can feel more balanced and hopeful.
Remember: your health matters, too. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s smart. You can’t care well for someone else if you’re running on empty. Reach out, recharge, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. That’s more than enough.
Blog Post Recap Video
Family Caregiver Stress FAQ
How do I know if I’m experiencing caregiver burnout?
Signs of caregiver burnout include:
Constant fatigue
Frequent illness
Irritability
Feelings of hopelessness
If you notice these, it’s time to take a step back and seek help or take a break.
Many caregiving apps have free versions with essential features like scheduling and reminders. Some offer premium upgrades for more advanced options.
Can I get paid for being a family caregiver?
It depends on your state and situation. Some government programs or insurance plans offer compensation or reimbursement. You can also try looking into Medicaid or veteran support options.
How do I talk to my family about sharing caregiving duties?
Be honest and specific. Let them know what you need help with — meals, errands, breaks — and schedule regular check-ins to divide tasks fairly and avoid resentment.
In 2012, I faced a stressful caregiving challenge with one of my aging siblings. He was legally blind, financially challenged and he lived alone. I knew he had to qualify for some benefits programs, but I was overwhelmed with the question of where to start in getting him some help.
A short time later, I received a random email about a government website that would help me up my caregiving game. Here’s the 411.
Finding Benefits Programs for Aging Loved Ones
Caring for an aging loved one or someone with a disability can be overwhelming. Many families don’t realize there are helpful senior benefits and programs available that can ease financial stress. These programs can help cover costs like food, medicine, housing, health care and utilities.
One of the best tools for finding these resources is BenefitsCheckUp. It’s a free service created by the National Council on Aging, or NCOA. This easy-to-use tool helps connect older adults with benefit programs in their area.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how to use BenefitsCheckUp to find support for your loved one. Whether you’re looking for food assistance or help paying for prescriptions, this guide can help you get started, because managing caregiver stress is important.
Getting Started with Benefits Programs Research
Blog Post Recap Video
What BenefitsCheckUp Does
BenefitsCheckUp was designed to help people over 60 and those with disabilities find the help they may qualify for. Millions of older adults miss out on support simply because they don’t know what’s available. This tool connects users with over 2,500 public and private benefits programs across the country.
Some examples of benefits it can help you identify include:
Food assistance through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP
Help paying for prescription medications
Health care savings through Medicare programs
Utility bill assistance
Support with housing or rent
These programs are often based on income, household size, or medical need. BenefitsCheckUp helps you figure out which ones your loved one may be eligible for — without having to search each one individually.
How the Screening Process Works
Start by going to benefitscheckup.org and entering your ZIP code. This allows the tool to show only the programs available in your loved one’s area. You can then answer a few questions about their age, income, medical expenses and other basic information.
After answering the questions, you’ll receive a free, personalized report. This report outlines the benefit programs they may qualify for and what steps to take next. You can even email the report to yourself or download it as a PDF to share with family members or caregivers.
Visit BenefitsCheckUp and start the screening today. It takes just a few minutes and could help your loved one save money and get the help they need.
Navigating the Application Process
Reviewing and Using Eligibility Results
Once you complete the screening on BenefitsCheckUp, you’ll get a personalized results report. This report shows which benefits programs your loved one may qualify for and how to apply. It includes:
Names of programs and a short description of each
Eligibility status—whether your loved one likely qualifies
Links to apply online or download application forms
Contact information for the agency offering the benefit
The tool gives you choices. You can apply online directly through an agency’s website, call them for more information, or print forms to send by mail. You can also save the report to your device or print it out for later use.
This step helps you move from research to action—so your loved one can start getting the help they need.
BenefitsCheckUp connects you to a wide range of senior benefits. Here are some of the most common programs available:
SNAP — Helps pay for groceries
Medicare Savings Programs — Lowers Medicare premiums and out-of-pocket costs
Prescription Assistance — Offers discounts, rebates and coupons for medications
Utility Bill Support — Helps with home heating and cooling costs
Housing and Rental Aid — Assists with rent or finding affordable housing options
You can explore different categories based on your loved one’s needs. The tool organizes options into easy sections like “Food & Nutrition,” “Health Care,” “Housing,” and “Income Assistance.”
Go back to your report and check which programs matter most to your loved one. Choose one or two and follow the steps to apply right away.
Practical Tips and Support
Is BenefitsCheckUp legit?
Still sounds too good to be true, huh?
If this is your first time using BenefitsCheckUp, you probably have questions. Here are a few of the most common ones.
Is BenefitsCheckUp free? Yes, it’s 100% free to use. There are no hidden costs or fees.
Is my information safe? Yes. The site is private and confidential. Your answers are not shared without your permission.
Can I apply directly on the website? For most programs, no. But the site gives you direct links to the official applications or tells you how to apply.
Can I use the tool for someone else? Yes! You can answer the questions for your parent, grandparent or other loved one. Just be sure the answers apply to their specific situation.
BenefitsCheckUp makes the process simple and stress-free. You don’t need to be an expert in benefits programs — just follow the steps and the tool does the hard work.
Still think you need more help? BenefitsCheckUp offers several ways to get personal support if you’re unsure about the next steps:
Live Chat — Use the “Chat With Us” button to talk to a support person online.
Phone Support — Call the hotline at 1-800-794-6559 (Monday–Friday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET).
In-Person Help — Visit a local Benefits Enrollment Center to speak with someone face-to-face.
These options are great if you’re helping a loved one who isn’t tech-savvy or if you need guidance through the application process. You can also ask about special cases, like support for disabled individuals or grandparents raising grandchildren.
If you’re stuck or unsure about the results, don’t hesitate. Use the chat or call the hotline to get friendly, expert help.
Take the first step in researching benefits programs.
Supporting a loved one through aging or health challenges is hard, but finding financial help shouldn’t be. Thanks to BenefitsCheckUp, researching senior benefits has never been easier. Within a few minutes, you can find out what help is available and how to get it for yourself or your loved one.
I did.
Whether you’re looking for food assistance, prescription savings or help with housing, this tool brings valuable benefits programs to your fingertips. Take the first step today and empower your loved one to live with dignity, security and peace of mind.
What types of senior benefits can I find using BenefitsCheckUp?
BenefitsCheckUp helps you find many kinds of support, including food assistance, help with medical bills, prescription savings, utility bill support and housing programs. It’s designed to match older adults with the benefits programs they may qualify for based on where they live.
Can I use BenefitsCheckUp for someone else, like my parent or grandparent?
Yes, you can! If you’re helping a loved one, just answer the questions based on their personal information. This is a great way to support someone who may not be comfortable using the internet.
Do I need to give my Social Security number or personal documents?
No, BenefitsCheckUp does not ask for your Social Security number. The tool keeps your information private and does not require documents to do a benefits screening. However, the agency you apply to may ask for this later during the application process.
Is BenefitsCheckUp only for people over 65?
BenefitsCheckUp is mainly for adults age 60 and older, but some benefits programs listed do not have age limits. People with disabilities and certain low-income households may also qualify for support through the site.
What if my loved one doesn’t use a computer — how can they get help?
No problem. You can call the BenefitsCheckUp support line at 1-800-794-6559 to speak with someone directly. You can also visit a local Benefits Enrollment Center to get help in person.
