Category: Family Caregiving Tips and Tools

  • Shining a Spotlight on Male Family Caregivers

    Men’s Health Month: Where are the male family caregivers?

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    June is Men’s Health Month, a time to spotlight men’s unique health challenges. From June 9–15, we also observe Men’s Health Week, encouraging early detection and treatment of diseases affecting men and boys.

    But there’s one group often left out of this conversation: male family caregivers.

    When we think of caregiving, we often picture a woman. But more men are stepping into family caregiving roles than ever before. And while their numbers are growing, their stories are still too quiet.

    Men face the same stress, burnout and emotional exhaustion as their female counterparts, yet they’re less likely to seek support.

    Let’s take a closer look at the physical, mental and emotional impact of caregiving on men and how we can help them care for themselves too.

    The Quiet Rise of Male Caregivers

    Today, nearly 1 in 3 family caregivers is a man. That’s about 16 million men across the U.S. Many of them are caring for a spouse, aging parent or disabled child. Some work full-time while caregiving and others have left jobs to offer care full-time.

    But because our culture has long seen caregiving as “women’s work,” male caregivers often feel isolated. They might not talk about their struggles or even know where to turn for help. That silence can be costly.

    Today, millions of men are caring for spouses, partners, aging parents, other relatives and friends. The numbers will just keep growing as the population ages and gender roles shift.

    Caregiving is hard, no matter your gender. Male caregivers seem to work more covertly than female caregivers. They may hide their stress or feel like they have to “tough it out.” That kind of societal and self-induced pressure can lead male caregivers to some serious health risks.

    The Hidden Health Toll on Men

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    Male caregivers are often more likely to skip doctor visits, ignore signs of burnout and avoid those dreaded emotional conversations. That can lead to:

    • Increased risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.
    • Weight gain or poor diet.
    • Anxiety, depression and loneliness.
    • Fatigue, sleep problems and substance use.

    Many male caregivers say they feel overwhelmed, angry or helpless, but don’t have a safe space to talk about it. They may also feel uncertain about how to handle tasks like helping someone with bathing or managing medications.

    Over time, the stress adds up. Without relief or support, caregiving can take a serious toll on a man’s mind and body.

    6 Proven Ways Men Can Lower Caregiving Stress

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    If you’re a male caregiver, or love someone who is, here are six simple ways to reduce stress and protect your health:

    1. Don’t go it alone. Join a caregiver support group. Sharing your experience with others who get it can bring welcome relief. Don’t forget that online groups count too.

    2. Create a daily routine. Structure can help ease anxiety. Set simple goals for each day and build in short breaks.

    3. Accept help. It’s wise to ask for help. Let family or friends take over errands, appointments or meals when they offer.

    4. Talk to your doctor. Let your health care provider know you’re a caregiver. That way, they can help you watch for signs of stress or burnout and point you toward helpful resources.

    5. Make time for yourself. Even 10 minutes of alone time can help. That solitude gives you time to listen to music, pray, take a short walk — whatever helps you feel more grounded.

    6. Learn the skills you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for training on medical tasks or personal care. Lifting someone safely or bathing them is a skill. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

    Changing the Story: Supporting Male Caregivers

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    We all benefit when we make space for men to be caregivers. That means breaking down stigmas, offering practical tools and acknowledging the work they do with love and strength.

    Places of worship, workplaces and healthcare providers can play a significant role. Some create caregiver ministries, flexible work schedules and outreach that includes men. And friends and family can check in with the men in their lives who are quietly carrying this burden.

    By lifting up male caregivers during Men’s Health Month, we shine a light on their quiet courage and remind them they’re not alone.

    Remember the importance of self-care.

    If you’re a male family caregiver, your health matters too. Taking care of yourself is important. You can explore self-care tips from the Family Caregiver Alliance.

    This Men’s Health Month, let’s support the men who support others every day. Let’s listen, encourage and remind them it’s okay to need help too.


    Support for Male Caregivers FAQ

    Are there caregiver support groups just for men?

    Yes, many local hospitals, churches and online forums offer support groups specifically for male caregivers.

    What are the most common health risks for male caregivers?

    Heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and sleep problems are common among male caregivers.

    How can male caregivers talk to their employers about their needs?

    Start by explaining your caregiving role and ask about flexible work hours, remote options or family leave benefits.

    Can men get paid to be caregivers?

    In some states, Medicaid or veteran programs offer pay to family caregivers, including men. Check with your local area agency on aging.

    How can friends and family support male caregivers?

    Offer to help with tasks, listen without judgment and encourage them to take breaks and care for their health.

  • Setting Boundaries: How to Say No as a Caregiver

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    Being a caregiver means showing love, patience, and strength. But it doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything. Many caregivers try to do it all — and end up feeling tired, frustrated or even sick. Saying “no” can feel scary, but it’s a powerful act of self-care.

    Setting healthy boundaries helps you stay strong, so you can give care without losing yourself. It’s not rude or selfish. In fact, it’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and the person you’re helping.

    When you say no to taking on additional caregiving duties, you aren’t being mean. You’re being realistic.

    Why Caregivers Need Boundaries

    Caregiving is a full-time emotional and physical job. It can wear you down if you don’t take breaks or ask for help.

    Here are some signs that you might need to set stronger boundaries:

    • Feeling tired all the time
    • Often feeling angry, resentful or sad
    • Having no time for your own needs
    • Saying “yes” even when you don’t want to
    • Relationships outside of caregiving are suffering

    Without boundaries, caregiving can lead to burnout. This can hurt your mental health, your relationships and even your ability to keep caring for your loved one.

    Healthy boundaries help you:

    • Stay balanced and calm.
    • Protect your physical and mental health.
    • Set realistic expectations with others.
    • Avoid resentment and guilt.

    One doctor who became a caregiver for a family member learned this. She says, “it takes a lot of work to resolve the tension between feelings of responsibility.” That’s because caregiving responsibilities often conflict with one another.

    Learn more about protecting your mental health by setting boundaries.

    Key Takeaway: Boundaries help you protect your time, health and energy so you can keep giving care without losing yourself.

    How to Say No With Confidence and Kindness

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    Saying no doesn’t have to be mean or cold. You can speak with both honesty and care. Many caregivers feel guilty turning someone down, but guilt often comes from the fear of being judged.

    To say no with confidence, try these simple tips:

    • Use “I” statements. They could sound something like: “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need to rest tonight.”
    • Be direct but gentle. An example of the direct approach is: “I’m not able to do that today, but maybe someone else can help.”
    • Set limits early. Don’t wait until you’re at a breaking point. Say something early like, “I can help with doctor visits, but I can’t do errands every day.”
    • Repeat if needed. Boundaries take time. It’s okay to say no more than once. Stay firm and calm.
    • Let go of guilt. Guilt is a feeling, not a fact. Remind yourself that caring for you is also important.

    Discover more strategies that can help you say no.

    Know when to ask for help.

    You don’t have to do it all alone. It’s okay to delegate tasks like:

    • Grocery shopping
    • Cleaning or yard work
    • Rides to appointments
    • Picking up medicine

    Know who to ask for help.

    Besides family members, think about asking others like:

    • Friends
    • Neighbors
    • Local caregiver support groups
    • Community resources like respite care

    Key Takeaway: Saying “no” is a way to protect your peace and share the caregiving load.

    Create a routine that supports boundaries.

    Once you start saying no, it’s important to build a routine that supports your new boundaries. You need time to recharge, reflect and enjoy life outside of caregiving.

    Start by identifying your “non-negotiables.”

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    These are things and activities that help you feel good and stay healthy.

    • Daily walk or stretch
    • Quiet coffee time in the morning
    • One night off each week
    • Regular sleep and meals
    • Connecting with a friend

    You might find it helpful to put these on your calendar just like you would any other appointment.

    Check in with yourself regularly.

    You can assess your needs by periodically asking yourself questions like:

    • How am I feeling today?
    • Am I getting enough rest?
    • Are my boundaries being respected?
    • Do I need to adjust anything?

    Also, expect some trial and error. Boundaries may change as caregiving needs shift. Stay flexible, but firm with what you need.

    Key Takeaway: A clear routine makes it easier to keep boundaries strong and reduce daily stress.

    Deciding on Your Next Steps

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    Being a family caregiver is a responsible role. But you don’t have to carry everything alone. Setting boundaries and asking for help when you need it are what make long-term caregiving possible.

    Here’s what you can do starting today:

    • Write down three things you need to protect your health.
    • Practice saying “no” to one non-essential task this week.
    • Talk to a friend or support group about your new boundaries.
    • Reach out to local resources for help and backup care.

    You are doing important work and you deserve to be cared for, too.

    Key Takeaway: Don’t think of boundaries as walls. Look at them as bridges to healthier caregiving for everyone involved.


    Setting Caregiving Boundaries FAQ

    Is it okay to say no even if my loved one gets upset?

    Yes. Emotions are natural, but your well-being matters too.

    How do I deal with people who don’t respect my boundaries?

    Repeat your limit calmly. Consistency builds understanding.

    What if I feel guilty afterward?

    Acknowledge the guilt, but don’t let it lead your decisions. Guilt fades, burnout doesn’t.

    Can boundaries help with time management?

    Absolutely. Saying no to non-essentials frees time for what matters most.

    Where can I find help as a caregiver?

    Local support groups, healthcare providers, and online communities are great starting points.

  • Quick Tips to Manage Stress from Family Caregiving

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    Managing stress is a recurring theme in many online caregiver forums these days — and for good reason.

    Caring for a loved one can be a beautiful gift. But it also brings emotional, physical and mental strain. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Family caregiver stress is real, and acknowledging it is the first step toward managing it.

    What’s caregiver stress?

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    Caregiver stress happens when the demands of caregiving start to take a toll. This kind of stress can affect your body, your emotions and your relationships.  

    Common causes of caregiver stress include:

    • Constant responsibility with little or no time off
    • Emotional weight like guilt, sadness or frustration
    • Lack of support from family, friends or professional caregivers
    • Financial strain from medical bills, missed work or the costs of caregiver-friendly home changes

    Signs you may be experiencing caregiver stress include:

    • Feeling tired all the time
    • Getting irritated easily
    • Trouble sleeping or eating
    • Feeling sad or hopeless
    • Withdrawing from others

    If left unaddressed, stress can lead to burnout. Caregiver burnout a deep sense of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion.

    Protecting Your Mental Health

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    Your mental health matters just as much as your loved one’s well-being. One of the most powerful steps you can take is permitting yourself to feel. It’s okay to feel frustrated, worried or even angry. Suppressing these emotions only increases stress.

    Talking to a therapist, counselor, or pastor can help you work through hard feelings. Even journaling for a few minutes each day can help you process what you’re going through. Set healthy emotional boundaries: Say no when you need to and don’t feel guilty for needing rest.

    Protecting your peace is necessary. When you care for your mind, you can care better for others, too.

    Simple Strategies to Reduce Stress

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    Even small changes can make a big difference. Here are some ways to lighten your load and feel more balanced.

    1. Get organized.

    • Use a weekly planner to schedule tasks and personal time.
    • Prioritize what must get done versus what can wait.
    • Share responsibilities with family, friends and others when possible.

    2. Practice self-care.

    • Take short walks, stretch or try guided relaxation.
    • Set aside time for a hobby or something that brings you joy.
    • Use breathing exercises or quiet time you spend in prayer.

    3. Build a support network.

    • Join a local or online support group for caregivers.
    • Talk openly with friends or family about your needs.
    • Reach out to your place of worship or community center for help.

    4. Use helpful tools.

    • Try caregiving apps to manage meds, appointments and tasks.
    • Consider respite care to get regular breaks.
    • Use journals or guided relaxation tools to unwind.

    5. Educate yourself.

    You’re not alone.

    It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to feel tired. You’re doing something important, and you deserve support too.


    Caregiver Stress Management FAQ

    1. How do I know if I’m experiencing caregiver burnout?

    Look for signs like chronic fatigue, irritability, sleep problems or feeling hopeless. If these persist, you may be experiencing burnout.

    2. What’s a quick self-care tip I can try daily?

    Try five minutes of deep breathing or a short walk outside. Small resets can make a big impact.

    3. What if I don’t have any support from family or others?

    Start by connecting with an online support group. You’re not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes.

    4. Are there affordable or free resources for caregivers?

    Yes. Many free apps help track meds, appointments and tasks. Local nonprofits often offer free or low-cost respite care.

    5. Can faith help with caregiver stress?

    Many caregivers find strength in prayer or faith-based communities. Spiritual care can be a powerful source of comfort.

  • 5 Free Resources From the NIA That Help Reduce Caregiver Stress

    Support for Family Caregivers at the Breaking Point: Rachel’s Story

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    Every morning before sunrise, Rachel brews a pot of coffee and gently wakes her father, Frank. At 78 years old, Frank is still charming, but slowly fading into the fog of dementia. Once a school principal who never forgot a name, Frank now struggles to remember Rachel’s. She helps him bathe, eat and stay calm during his bouts of confusion.

    Rachel does this all while raising two teens and working part-time from home.

    One day, her dad wandered away from home and couldn’t find his way back. Rachel sat on the porch in tears. She realized that just her love for her dad wasn’t enough. She needed real tools, support and knowledge to carry on her caregiving without breaking.

    Later that evening, she found a government website with step-by-step tips for caring for someone with dementia. She felt a wave of relief. For the first time in weeks, she slept through the night.

    If you’re a caregiver like Rachel, ask yourself: Where do you turn for reliable, calming guidance when the stress feels too heavy?

    Caregiver Resources Spotlight: National Institute on Aging

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    Caring for an aging loved one is a big job. Between doctor’s appointments, meals, medications and emotional support, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and experience burnout. But you’re not alone. The National Institute on Aging, or NIA, offers trusted, free resources to guide and support caregivers like you.

    Let’s look at five simple ways you can use the NIA website to ease your caregiver burden and keep helping your loved one age with dignity.

    1. Get started with confidence.

    Starting your caregiving journey can be confusing. The NIA’s Getting Started with Caregiving section is a great first step. It explains what caregiving is, what tasks may be involved and how to prepare yourself for the role.

    You’ll find guidance on:

    • What to expect when caring for a parent or spouse.
    • How to manage medical appointments and medications.
    • Setting up a care plan.

    Using this page can help you build a strong foundation and feel more prepared.

    2. Learn how to take care of yourself too.

    Caregivers often forget to care for themselves. The NIA reminds us that your well-being matters too. Their self-care advice includes tips on managing stress, getting rest and staying connected with others.

    They even offer a free Caregiver’s Handbook that addresses:

    • Dealing with burnout.
    • Asking for help.
    • Sharing caregiving responsibilities with others.

    Reading just one article could give you a new idea that lightens your load.

    3. Explore health and aging topics.

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    Whether your loved one has diabetes, dementia or just needs help staying active, the NIA covers it all. Their AgePage fact sheets are short and easy to read. Topics include:

    • Alzheimer’s disease
    • Falls and safety at home
    • Planning for future care

    There’s also a special section on healthy aging, which encourages:

    • Exercise and movement
    • Healthy eating
    • Staying social and independent

    You can print or bookmark the pages you need. Most are available in Spanish too.

    4. Find help for Alzheimer’s and memory loss.

    If your loved one has Alzheimer’s or another memory condition, check out the NIA’s Alzheimer’s Disease Education and Referral, or ADEAR, Center. It offers reliable answers to your hardest questions.

    You can:

    • Read guides on how to manage behavior and safety.
    • Learn what to expect in each stage of dementia.
    • Call or email their support team for help.

    This resource is a must for caregivers navigating memory loss.

    5. Order free NIA publications for home delivery.

    Many of the NIA’s helpful online guides are also available to order in print — for free! You can order booklets, tip sheets and DVDs to keep on hand or share with others. They even offer materials in Spanish and formats that are easy for older adults to read .

    To order, you can call 1-800-222-2225 or visit https://order.nia.nih.gov/.

    You’re not alone in this journey.

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    The NIA is a trusted partner for caregivers. From beginner tips to disease-specific help, they offer real support backed by science and heart. And it’s all free.

    Let the NIA lighten your caregiving load — one resource at a time.


    National Institute on Aging Resources FAQ

    1. What is the National Institute on Aging, NIA?

    It’s a government agency that shares research and resources on aging and caregiving. Their website is full of free tools for families.

    2. How do I start caregiving for a loved one?

    Start by reading the NIA’s “Getting Started with Caregiving” section to understand the basics and create a care plan.

    3. Does the NIA website offer help for caregivers dealing with Alzheimer’s?

    Yes. The NIA’s ADEAR Center offers advice, guides and direct support for Alzheimer’s caregivers.

    4. Can I get printed materials from the NIA?

    Yes. You can order booklets and tip sheets online or by phone, and they ship for free in the U.S.

    5. Are these resources available in Spanish?

    Many are available in Spanish. To explore Spanish-language materials, just visit www.nia.nih.gov/espanol.

  • Challenging Stereotypes About the Elderly: A Family Caregiver’s Perspective

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    An Especially Hurtful Moment: Mary’s Story

    Mary had always had a reputation for being mentally sharp. A retired schoolteacher with a love for crossword puzzles, she prided herself on remembering wedding anniversaries, Bible verses, and the names of every neighbor on her street.

    As she and her daughter were leaving their local grocery store one afternoon, Mary stopped in her tracks. She couldn’t remember where she’d parked her car. Her daughter laughed gently and said, “Mom, looks like someone had a senior moment!”

    Mary smiled, but the comment stung. She knew her daughter didn’t mean to offend her, but it made her feel like her years of wisdom didn’t count anymore. That one moment of forgetfulness didn’t define her, but the label felt heavy.

    For many older adults like Mary, stereotypes like “senior moments” can be deeply hurtful. They reduce a lifetime of experience to a joke. And for caregivers, these moments can add stress and sadness too.

    In this post, we’ll explore how these stereotypes affect both caregivers and loved ones, and how we can all flip the script on aging.

    A Month To Help Make a Difference

    I’ll admit it. Earlier in my life, during moments of self-deprecation, I sometimes played the “senior moment” card if I experienced an embarrassing memory lapse in public.

    I didn’t have a clue about what damage that flippant comment could do. But I can still make amends.

    May is Older Americans Month, a time to honor and celebrate the lives and wisdom of our older loved ones. This year’s theme, “Flip the Script on Aging,” invites us to rethink the way we view aging. Instead of seeing it as decline, we can see it as a time of growth, strength and purpose.

    But if you’re a family caregiver, you’ve likely felt how harmful age-based stereotypes can be. They don’t just affect your loved one. They affect you, too. These false ideas about aging can lead to shame, stress and misunderstanding on both sides of the caregiving relationship.

    Let’s explore five common stereotypes about the elderly, why they’re harmful, and what you can do to challenge them with love and truth.

    How Stereotypes Add to Caregiver Stress

    Caring for an aging parent or spouse is deeply emotional. And when the world sees your loved one as “helpless” or “outdated,” it can create another layer of pressure for everyone involved.

    Stereotypes can contribute to patronizing communication practices like “elderspeak.”

    You may feel like you’re constantly explaining or defending your loved one’s choices or abilities. You might even question your own decisions or feel invisible as a caregiver. These feelings can build up and lead to caregiver burnout, anxiety or guilt.

    By challenging stereotypes, you not only affirm your loved one’s dignity, but you also lighten your own emotional load.

    5 Common Stereotypes About the Elderly (and Why They’re Wrong)

    1. “Older people are forgetful and confused.”

    Memory changes often happen over time, but that doesn’t mean all older adults are losing their minds. Many stay mentally sharp, curious and engaged well into their later years.

    2. “They can’t learn new things.”

    That just isn’t true. Older adults can and do learn new technology, hobbies, and ideas. They may learn at a different pace, but the desire and ability are still there.

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    3. “They’re fragile and sick all the time.”

    It’s true that aging brings physical changes, but many older adults remain active and independent. Some walk or exercise daily, volunteer or serve as caregivers for others.

    4. “They’re a burden on society and their families.”

    This is one of the most harmful stereotypes. Older adults give back in countless ways — emotionally, spiritually and practically. They matter.

    5. “They don’t want to be social or active.”

    Aging can be lonely, but that doesn’t mean older people want to be isolated. Most want connection, purpose and joy just like anyone else.

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    Why It’s Important to Flip the Script

    When we reject ageist ideas, we make room for joy, strength, and shared humanity. It helps caregivers care with more compassion and less frustration.

    Seeing your loved one as a whole person and not just a list of health issues can change how you speak, plan and connect. It can also make caregiving feel more meaningful instead of overwhelming.

    Challenging stereotypes also helps build a more caring, inclusive community for everyone, especially those who are aging or providing care.

    Small Ways Caregivers Can Help Challenge Age Stereotypes

    Caregivers are on the front lines of fighting ageism. Here are some ways to gently flip the script in everyday life:

    1. Celebrate your loved one’s strengths and accomplishments.

    Talk about what they can do, not just what they’ve lost. Share stories of times they’ve made you laugh, taught you something or shown resilience.

    Discover 10 fun and simple ways to celebrate older people.

    2. Speak up when you hear ageist remarks.

    It’s okay to kindly correct misinformation or jokes that put down older people. You might say, “Actually, my mom is 70 years old and she just learned to use Zoom. She’s amazing!” or “Age doesn’t mean someone can’t still grow.”

    Learn more about challenging ageism and age discrimination.

    3. Encourage independence and choice.

    Let your loved one make decisions when possible. Whether it’s what they wear, eat or how they spend their time, their voice matters.

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    4. Include them in conversations.

    Talk with your loved one, not just about them, especially in medical settings or family gatherings. It shows respect and boosts their self-worth.

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    5. Look for inclusive spaces.

    Find places of worship, community centers or senior programs that honor aging and make space for all generations. These positive environments help your loved one feel seen and valued.

    6. Share their stories.

    Post a photo, write a social media caption or tell a friend something beautiful about your loved one’s life. Remind others that aging is full of meaning and light.

    7. Model hope and compassion.

    The way you talk about aging, even in your own life, can influence how others view it. Try replacing fear with faith, and frustration with favor.

    Supporting Yourself While Supporting Them

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    Caregiving is sacred work. But it can also be draining, especially when you’re constantly navigating both care tasks and cultural myths about aging.

    Giving yourself permission to see the full person behind the diagnosis can lift your spirit. It allows you to enjoy the uplifting moments in between the hard ones.

    You don’t have to do it all perfectly. You just have to keep showing up with love, honesty and care.

    Let us know in the comments how you’re challenging age-related stereotypes in your caregiving journey.


    Aging Stereotypes FAQ

    1. How do age stereotypes affect caregivers?

    Stereotypes can increase guilt, stress, and pressure to meet unrealistic expectations for those they care for.

    2. What’s a healthy way to talk to older adults?

    Speak respectfully, use a normal tone and include them in decisions.

    3. Can older adults really learn new skills?

    Yes. Many continue learning and growing well into their later years.

    4. Why do people believe these stereotypes?

    Media, culture and lack of exposure to older adults can shape these false ideas.

    5. What’s one easy way to fight ageism?

    Share positive stories about aging and older adults in your life.