Author: Les Jones

  • Shining a Spotlight on Male Family Caregivers

    Men’s Health Month: Where are the male family caregivers?

    Male caregiver greets senior man
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    June is Men’s Health Month, a time to spotlight men’s unique health challenges. From June 9–15, we also observe Men’s Health Week, encouraging early detection and treatment of diseases affecting men and boys.

    But there’s one group often left out of this conversation: male family caregivers.

    When we think of caregiving, we often picture a woman. But more men are stepping into family caregiving roles than ever before. And while their numbers are growing, their stories are still too quiet.

    Men face the same stress, burnout and emotional exhaustion as their female counterparts, yet they’re less likely to seek support.

    Let’s take a closer look at the physical, mental and emotional impact of caregiving on men and how we can help them care for themselves too.

    The Quiet Rise of Male Caregivers

    Today, nearly 1 in 3 family caregivers is a man. That’s about 16 million men across the U.S. Many of them are caring for a spouse, aging parent or disabled child. Some work full-time while caregiving and others have left jobs to offer care full-time.

    But because our culture has long seen caregiving as “women’s work,” male caregivers often feel isolated. They might not talk about their struggles or even know where to turn for help. That silence can be costly.

    Today, millions of men are caring for spouses, partners, aging parents, other relatives and friends. The numbers will just keep growing as the population ages and gender roles shift.

    Caregiving is hard, no matter your gender. Male caregivers seem to work more covertly than female caregivers. They may hide their stress or feel like they have to “tough it out.” That kind of societal and self-induced pressure can lead male caregivers to some serious health risks.

    The Hidden Health Toll on Men

    Distressed male caregiver
    Designed by Freepik.

    Male caregivers are often more likely to skip doctor visits, ignore signs of burnout and avoid those dreaded emotional conversations. That can lead to:

    • Increased risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.
    • Weight gain or poor diet.
    • Anxiety, depression and loneliness.
    • Fatigue, sleep problems and substance use.

    Many male caregivers say they feel overwhelmed, angry or helpless, but don’t have a safe space to talk about it. They may also feel uncertain about how to handle tasks like helping someone with bathing or managing medications.

    Over time, the stress adds up. Without relief or support, caregiving can take a serious toll on a man’s mind and body.

    6 Proven Ways Men Can Lower Caregiving Stress

    Doctor speaks to male caregiver.
    Designed by Freepik.

    If you’re a male caregiver, or love someone who is, here are six simple ways to reduce stress and protect your health:

    1. Don’t go it alone. Join a caregiver support group. Sharing your experience with others who get it can bring welcome relief. Don’t forget that online groups count too.

    2. Create a daily routine. Structure can help ease anxiety. Set simple goals for each day and build in short breaks.

    3. Accept help. It’s wise to ask for help. Let family or friends take over errands, appointments or meals when they offer.

    4. Talk to your doctor. Let your health care provider know you’re a caregiver. That way, they can help you watch for signs of stress or burnout and point you toward helpful resources.

    5. Make time for yourself. Even 10 minutes of alone time can help. That solitude gives you time to listen to music, pray, take a short walk — whatever helps you feel more grounded.

    6. Learn the skills you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for training on medical tasks or personal care. Lifting someone safely or bathing them is a skill. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

    Changing the Story: Supporting Male Caregivers

    Two men give each other a supportive hug.
    Designed by Freepik.

    We all benefit when we make space for men to be caregivers. That means breaking down stigmas, offering practical tools and acknowledging the work they do with love and strength.

    Places of worship, workplaces and healthcare providers can play a significant role. Some create caregiver ministries, flexible work schedules and outreach that includes men. And friends and family can check in with the men in their lives who are quietly carrying this burden.

    By lifting up male caregivers during Men’s Health Month, we shine a light on their quiet courage and remind them they’re not alone.

    Remember the importance of self-care.

    If you’re a male family caregiver, your health matters too. Taking care of yourself is important. You can explore self-care tips from the Family Caregiver Alliance.

    This Men’s Health Month, let’s support the men who support others every day. Let’s listen, encourage and remind them it’s okay to need help too.


    Support for Male Caregivers FAQ

    Are there caregiver support groups just for men?

    Yes, many local hospitals, churches and online forums offer support groups specifically for male caregivers.

    What are the most common health risks for male caregivers?

    Heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and sleep problems are common among male caregivers.

    How can male caregivers talk to their employers about their needs?

    Start by explaining your caregiving role and ask about flexible work hours, remote options or family leave benefits.

    Can men get paid to be caregivers?

    In some states, Medicaid or veteran programs offer pay to family caregivers, including men. Check with your local area agency on aging.

    How can friends and family support male caregivers?

    Offer to help with tasks, listen without judgment and encourage them to take breaks and care for their health.

  • Setting Boundaries: How to Say No as a Caregiver

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    Designed by Freepik.

    Being a caregiver means showing love, patience, and strength. But it doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything. Many caregivers try to do it all — and end up feeling tired, frustrated or even sick. Saying “no” can feel scary, but it’s a powerful act of self-care.

    Setting healthy boundaries helps you stay strong, so you can give care without losing yourself. It’s not rude or selfish. In fact, it’s one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and the person you’re helping.

    When you say no to taking on additional caregiving duties, you aren’t being mean. You’re being realistic.

    Why Caregivers Need Boundaries

    Caregiving is a full-time emotional and physical job. It can wear you down if you don’t take breaks or ask for help.

    Here are some signs that you might need to set stronger boundaries:

    • Feeling tired all the time
    • Often feeling angry, resentful or sad
    • Having no time for your own needs
    • Saying “yes” even when you don’t want to
    • Relationships outside of caregiving are suffering

    Without boundaries, caregiving can lead to burnout. This can hurt your mental health, your relationships and even your ability to keep caring for your loved one.

    Healthy boundaries help you:

    • Stay balanced and calm.
    • Protect your physical and mental health.
    • Set realistic expectations with others.
    • Avoid resentment and guilt.

    One doctor who became a caregiver for a family member learned this. She says, “it takes a lot of work to resolve the tension between feelings of responsibility.” That’s because caregiving responsibilities often conflict with one another.

    Learn more about protecting your mental health by setting boundaries.

    Key Takeaway: Boundaries help you protect your time, health and energy so you can keep giving care without losing yourself.

    How to Say No With Confidence and Kindness

    Caregiver says no.
    Designed by Freepik.

    Saying no doesn’t have to be mean or cold. You can speak with both honesty and care. Many caregivers feel guilty turning someone down, but guilt often comes from the fear of being judged.

    To say no with confidence, try these simple tips:

    • Use “I” statements. They could sound something like: “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need to rest tonight.”
    • Be direct but gentle. An example of the direct approach is: “I’m not able to do that today, but maybe someone else can help.”
    • Set limits early. Don’t wait until you’re at a breaking point. Say something early like, “I can help with doctor visits, but I can’t do errands every day.”
    • Repeat if needed. Boundaries take time. It’s okay to say no more than once. Stay firm and calm.
    • Let go of guilt. Guilt is a feeling, not a fact. Remind yourself that caring for you is also important.

    Discover more strategies that can help you say no.

    Know when to ask for help.

    You don’t have to do it all alone. It’s okay to delegate tasks like:

    • Grocery shopping
    • Cleaning or yard work
    • Rides to appointments
    • Picking up medicine

    Know who to ask for help.

    Besides family members, think about asking others like:

    • Friends
    • Neighbors
    • Local caregiver support groups
    • Community resources like respite care

    Key Takeaway: Saying “no” is a way to protect your peace and share the caregiving load.

    Create a routine that supports boundaries.

    Once you start saying no, it’s important to build a routine that supports your new boundaries. You need time to recharge, reflect and enjoy life outside of caregiving.

    Start by identifying your “non-negotiables.”

    Caregiver relaxes in bed
    Designed by Freepik.

    These are things and activities that help you feel good and stay healthy.

    • Daily walk or stretch
    • Quiet coffee time in the morning
    • One night off each week
    • Regular sleep and meals
    • Connecting with a friend

    You might find it helpful to put these on your calendar just like you would any other appointment.

    Check in with yourself regularly.

    You can assess your needs by periodically asking yourself questions like:

    • How am I feeling today?
    • Am I getting enough rest?
    • Are my boundaries being respected?
    • Do I need to adjust anything?

    Also, expect some trial and error. Boundaries may change as caregiving needs shift. Stay flexible, but firm with what you need.

    Key Takeaway: A clear routine makes it easier to keep boundaries strong and reduce daily stress.

    Deciding on Your Next Steps

    Family caregiver talks with loved one in wheelchair
    Designed by Freepik.

    Being a family caregiver is a responsible role. But you don’t have to carry everything alone. Setting boundaries and asking for help when you need it are what make long-term caregiving possible.

    Here’s what you can do starting today:

    • Write down three things you need to protect your health.
    • Practice saying “no” to one non-essential task this week.
    • Talk to a friend or support group about your new boundaries.
    • Reach out to local resources for help and backup care.

    You are doing important work and you deserve to be cared for, too.

    Key Takeaway: Don’t think of boundaries as walls. Look at them as bridges to healthier caregiving for everyone involved.


    Setting Caregiving Boundaries FAQ

    Is it okay to say no even if my loved one gets upset?

    Yes. Emotions are natural, but your well-being matters too.

    How do I deal with people who don’t respect my boundaries?

    Repeat your limit calmly. Consistency builds understanding.

    What if I feel guilty afterward?

    Acknowledge the guilt, but don’t let it lead your decisions. Guilt fades, burnout doesn’t.

    Can boundaries help with time management?

    Absolutely. Saying no to non-essentials frees time for what matters most.

    Where can I find help as a caregiver?

    Local support groups, healthcare providers, and online communities are great starting points.